*Ahem* I would like to preface this post by saying that the Girlfriend and I have been playing a little
too much Android: Netrunner lately... (Read FANATICAL OBSESSION)... In
fact, it feels almost like the world of Netrunner and our own world have
become one.....
LOOKING FOR WEALTH AND ADVENTURE? SEARCHING FOR THE JOB THAT WILL CHALLENGE AND REWARD YOU? WHY NOT JOIN AN EVIL CORPORATION?
Yes,
there comes a time in every person's life when joining an evil
corporation is both a goal and a dream. When you must take control of your future and destiny and invest it multi-planet domination. But
although exciting, this time can also be stressful and confusing. For
you must answer the most difficult and significant question
you will ever face. Which evil corporation should I join?
THAT'S WHERE WE COME IN
That's
right. We here at Games Reviewed by Lesbians have spent years mulling
over the scientific research, studying personality archetypes, and
profiling the leading evil corporations of today. And we have pooled our
knowledge and expertise into THIS QUIZ. Merely answer 7 SIMPLE
QUESTIONS, and tally your score, and behold you will find which
corporation suits your persuasion.
***
Thursday, 25 October 2012
Wednesday, 3 October 2012
The GF On: Our DESCENT Into Lesbian Bed Death
It all began once upon an evening, when I erroneously let Lesbigamer play a particular game on my PS3 and she discovered, with great delight, the wondrous joys of SKYRIM. My woeful predicament:
Obviously, this situation was not to be condoned, and, I had, words, with her to the effect that fine, you're out on the couch tonight. Which was just fine for her. Damn.
Obviously, this situation was not to be condoned, and, I had, words, with her to the effect that fine, you're out on the couch tonight. Which was just fine for her. Damn.
Friday, 28 September 2012
Lesbians Review: Thunderstone Advanced: Towers of Ruin
G'day gamers, we're two lolzy lesbians from the land of the drop bear and today we bring to you a review of a game where heroes sometimes fight for players and players always fight for hereos, Thunderstone Advance: Towers of Ruin.
Our journey with Thunderstone Advance started when my GF failed to recieve a mysterious package in the mail. For three days and three nights a great famine of Board Gaming swept the land (by which I mean our house). There were complaints. There were depressive spurts. There were complaints about the depressive spurts. Just when we thought that the delivery truck containing the game had definitely been abducted by aliens and deposited on a random desert planet to observe human board gaming behaviour in times of intense stress, A KNOCK CAME ON THE DOOR.
When we opened it, no human was in sight, just a white package the size of two shoe boxes, and a faint whisper through the air saying "lose not faith....lose not faith..."
As you can imagine, it did not take us long to get from a cardboard box to a snowfall of torn white paper and a fully set up board.
APPEARANCE
Thunderstone Advance has in general opted for a welcome-to-Middle-Earth style fantasy iconography, with all the usual pointy-ears, bearded midgets, and glowing mages, none of whom are called by their canonical names (shh....maybe players will think the creators were being original). Given the um...particular perspective... of my GF and I, the highlight of the artwork were definitely the female heroes, who when unboxed we greeted with the appropriate wolf-whistles, offers of drinks in the nearest tavern, etc. etc. In some cases however, odd creative choices seem to have taken place. Here's my top three ???s:
1. Draken Lairds. T'is a scottish konbold fight I?
2. Tree-Folk. Why is this a thing? Why are they harder to kill than dragons?
3. Glamercasts. No. Just no.
Overall though, the theme is strong, and carried out with a reasonable level of success.
In terms of the component quality, this game is slick. The colours are intense and bright, and the game board and card stock are great.
GAMEPLAY
Thunderstone's Rules of Play happens to be one of the most well-presented and accessible rulebooks we've had the pleasure of reading (see our earlier post on the terror of the Ghost Stories rulebook). In this particular case I would actually refer you to this 4-page learn to play booklet that easily summarizes the game if you are interested in learning how to play Thunderstone: HERE BE BOOKLET
BUT, if you only want a quick few lines on the gameplay... Thunderstone is a deck-builder game. You have starting deck of a few sub-heroes, weapons and items. At the start of your turn you draw six cards. You use these cards to:
(a) go to the village, where you can purchase moar and shinier heroes, weapons, villagers and items; or
(b) go to the dungeon, where you can fight a nice array of evil creatures and gain xp to level up your heroes, as well as gaining victory points for defeating the monsters.
When you defeat a monster, they are added into your deck as 'trophies'. Some of them have useful effects you can use in your turn (e.g. count as +1 attack), but for the most part, they sit around in the style of dominion estates, clogging up your deck till the end of the game where they count as victory points.
The idea is to balance the different kinds of cards in your deck to put you in the best spot for monster collecting. In other words, in the style of most other board games, you get more stuff to get more stuff.
OVERALL
You'll notice that a lot of the problems I've been talking about are multi-player. Oddly, I've actually found Thunderstone Advance a more satifying ridin' solo (or fightin' solo). Suddenly, you are plunged into a deathly struggle that requires wits, and planning to defeat, rather than spending your time worrying about your opponents XP pile. The difficulty of solo play can be easily adjusted, and as a masochist, I love the fact that you start off facing the unbeatable, which gradually becomes the beatable and then hopefully, the beat.
I am well aware that I've only played Thunderstone Advance 2-players (or solo), and perhaps it is a game where more is actually merry. Any Thunderstone players around who can share their experiences here? We would well appreciate some discussion on this game, because if there exists a way for us to enjoy it more we would love to try it.
Final Review
Me: Thunderstone Advance is a game with more cool things then you can poke a stick, pike, or dwarven bear hammer at, yet despite that it doesn't really fit together. There is still a certain satisfaction however in deck-building and monster blood splattering, especially in the games beginning - stabbing that first skeleton in the bony ribs holds a charm that even a dodgy game mechanic cannot vanquish. But multiplayer the game is more frustrating than fantasy adventuring, as players with xp earn more xp and those without find themselves drowning their sorrows continually in the tavern (read:village).
Rating: 6.5
GF: The coolest thing about this game is the vast amount of cards you get. So many heroes to level up, each with their own distinct charm.... the problem is that you don't get to use many of them in the one game... funnily, I never had this problem with Dominion, but here in Thunderstone, I feel the lack. Perhaps it is because Dominion has more of a slant towards strategy, meaning that card sets are more like a deck-optimization puzzle that makes you work with what you've got. Thunderstone slants more towards the fantasy theme and involves you more in a story, an epic tale of Thunderbearer-killing quests... and it's actually a bummer you can't involve yourself with all the elements of the game in one play. It's like if you played a demo version of something like Final Fantasy where you're locked to only playing the Knight, but you know all the cool kids are playing Black Mage. Thunderstone has that kind of feel.
BUT WAIT.... THERE IS AN EPIC VARIANT, which lets you use all the cards! This is great, albeit a little long to set up. I had some fun with this game, but it quickly grew stale for me, sadly.
GF's Rating: 6
...solo, I'm fightin' solo, I'm fightin' solo, I'm fightin' solo solo....
Thunderstone Advance Fact File
Payers: 1 - 5
Playtime: 45 - 60
Genre: Deck Building/ Fighting
Our journey with Thunderstone Advance started when my GF failed to recieve a mysterious package in the mail. For three days and three nights a great famine of Board Gaming swept the land (by which I mean our house). There were complaints. There were depressive spurts. There were complaints about the depressive spurts. Just when we thought that the delivery truck containing the game had definitely been abducted by aliens and deposited on a random desert planet to observe human board gaming behaviour in times of intense stress, A KNOCK CAME ON THE DOOR.
When we opened it, no human was in sight, just a white package the size of two shoe boxes, and a faint whisper through the air saying "lose not faith....lose not faith..."
As you can imagine, it did not take us long to get from a cardboard box to a snowfall of torn white paper and a fully set up board.
APPEARANCE
Thunderstone Advance has in general opted for a welcome-to-Middle-Earth style fantasy iconography, with all the usual pointy-ears, bearded midgets, and glowing mages, none of whom are called by their canonical names (shh....maybe players will think the creators were being original). Given the um...particular perspective... of my GF and I, the highlight of the artwork were definitely the female heroes, who when unboxed we greeted with the appropriate wolf-whistles, offers of drinks in the nearest tavern, etc. etc. In some cases however, odd creative choices seem to have taken place. Here's my top three ???s:
1. Draken Lairds. T'is a scottish konbold fight I?
2. Tree-Folk. Why is this a thing? Why are they harder to kill than dragons?
3. Glamercasts. No. Just no.
![]() |
Yeah....I would take this guy in my elite band of heroes to kill a fearsome dragon.... |
Overall though, the theme is strong, and carried out with a reasonable level of success.
In terms of the component quality, this game is slick. The colours are intense and bright, and the game board and card stock are great.
GAMEPLAY
Thunderstone's Rules of Play happens to be one of the most well-presented and accessible rulebooks we've had the pleasure of reading (see our earlier post on the terror of the Ghost Stories rulebook). In this particular case I would actually refer you to this 4-page learn to play booklet that easily summarizes the game if you are interested in learning how to play Thunderstone: HERE BE BOOKLET
BUT, if you only want a quick few lines on the gameplay... Thunderstone is a deck-builder game. You have starting deck of a few sub-heroes, weapons and items. At the start of your turn you draw six cards. You use these cards to:
(a) go to the village, where you can purchase moar and shinier heroes, weapons, villagers and items; or
(b) go to the dungeon, where you can fight a nice array of evil creatures and gain xp to level up your heroes, as well as gaining victory points for defeating the monsters.
![]() |
Obviously incredibly fearsome |
When you defeat a monster, they are added into your deck as 'trophies'. Some of them have useful effects you can use in your turn (e.g. count as +1 attack), but for the most part, they sit around in the style of dominion estates, clogging up your deck till the end of the game where they count as victory points.
The idea is to balance the different kinds of cards in your deck to put you in the best spot for monster collecting. In other words, in the style of most other board games, you get more stuff to get more stuff.
OVERALL
Thunderstone Advance feels a little bit like a five year old
kid making his own milkshake. DECK BUILDING, yummy, we'll throw that in.
FIGHTING, yes, fighting SUPER-BADASS MONSTERS, everyone likes to fight
monsters. With HEROES, with DIFFERENT COOL SKILLS that you can LEVEL UP! Then
blend it all together, and it's got to be delicious right? Right, right? But
somehow, despite the fact that Thunderstone is a pick-and-mix of all the gaming
elements I really love, something about it falls flatter than a solo game of Scrabble. All the right elements are there but game play often makes me
feel as if I am stuck in a traffic jam.
If I try and diagnose this problem I would put it down to
most card sets just really not working well together. The problem with this is that it lays waste
the idea of strategic deck building. There is no sense of challenge in Thundersone for me, nothing I can sink my metaphorical brain-teeth into. Instead, Thunderstone often feels like a
track team race to grab those heroes and level ‘em fast before your opponent
steals both those Thundermage Bolters and magically zaps their way to victory. This
is not particularly fun.
This is
particularly not particularly fun when you are losing. Now I’m a person who
likes to view losing as a challenge rather than a problem, a transitory state
to be swiftly passed through on the way to crushing your opponent and using
their morale as your personal footstool. In Thunderstone however, triumphant
comebacks are rare, and this is a systematised effect of the game. In other
words - “I heard you like winning, so I’ll
give you xp while you get vp so you can win while you are winning.”
You'll notice that a lot of the problems I've been talking about are multi-player. Oddly, I've actually found Thunderstone Advance a more satifying ridin' solo (or fightin' solo). Suddenly, you are plunged into a deathly struggle that requires wits, and planning to defeat, rather than spending your time worrying about your opponents XP pile. The difficulty of solo play can be easily adjusted, and as a masochist, I love the fact that you start off facing the unbeatable, which gradually becomes the beatable and then hopefully, the beat.
I am well aware that I've only played Thunderstone Advance 2-players (or solo), and perhaps it is a game where more is actually merry. Any Thunderstone players around who can share their experiences here? We would well appreciate some discussion on this game, because if there exists a way for us to enjoy it more we would love to try it.
Final Review
Me: Thunderstone Advance is a game with more cool things then you can poke a stick, pike, or dwarven bear hammer at, yet despite that it doesn't really fit together. There is still a certain satisfaction however in deck-building and monster blood splattering, especially in the games beginning - stabbing that first skeleton in the bony ribs holds a charm that even a dodgy game mechanic cannot vanquish. But multiplayer the game is more frustrating than fantasy adventuring, as players with xp earn more xp and those without find themselves drowning their sorrows continually in the tavern (read:village).
Rating: 6.5
GF: The coolest thing about this game is the vast amount of cards you get. So many heroes to level up, each with their own distinct charm.... the problem is that you don't get to use many of them in the one game... funnily, I never had this problem with Dominion, but here in Thunderstone, I feel the lack. Perhaps it is because Dominion has more of a slant towards strategy, meaning that card sets are more like a deck-optimization puzzle that makes you work with what you've got. Thunderstone slants more towards the fantasy theme and involves you more in a story, an epic tale of Thunderbearer-killing quests... and it's actually a bummer you can't involve yourself with all the elements of the game in one play. It's like if you played a demo version of something like Final Fantasy where you're locked to only playing the Knight, but you know all the cool kids are playing Black Mage. Thunderstone has that kind of feel.
BUT WAIT.... THERE IS AN EPIC VARIANT, which lets you use all the cards! This is great, albeit a little long to set up. I had some fun with this game, but it quickly grew stale for me, sadly.
GF's Rating: 6
...solo, I'm fightin' solo, I'm fightin' solo, I'm fightin' solo solo....
Saturday, 22 September 2012
A Lesbian Session Report!: Ghost Stories - Players vs Rulebook
G'day folks, we're a couple of gay gamers from the land down under, and today we have for you a speedy session report of that game of otherworldly difficulty, Ghost Stories.
A game of Ghost Stories is never the same twice. Or, if played between the Girlfriend and I, a game of Ghost Stories never has the same rules twice. Yes, believe it or not, Wu Feng's ugly incarnations are nothing compared to the utter terror contained with the German/French/English rule book. Let's recap (somewhat embarrassingly) what happened when the GF and I tried to play Ghost Stories as a "brief" evening game.
9:00 pm - Play Starts.
Mood: Happy. The night is young, and the ghosts are few. Even if we did turn over the defective side of the green Taoist board.
9:20pm - Rule Violation: A Taoist must end their turn on the central square in order to retrieve the neutral tokens.
Mood: Self-irritation at our newbie level oversight, but pride at our honorable, chivalrous, and ok, maybe downright pedantic commitment to playing the game properly.
START GAME OVER
9:55pm - Rule Violation: When a player's board is overrun, players do not draw a new ghost. Yah...crucial point.....
Mood: Relieved at being saved from the fiery fiery pits of pseudo-Chinese hell.
START GAME OVER.
10:35pm - Two turns from kicking some serious ancient ghost arse... (metaphorically....because of course you can't actually kick ghosts.....)
Rule Violation: No reward is gained for killing ghosts in the Sorcerers' Hut.
Mood: Kind of like when you see a bear in the forest, and then you run away from the bear, into a bear cave.... Oh sacred laws of board game rule-fidelity, WHY DO YOU TAUNT US?
11:05pm - The snacks have run out. The snacks we bought to replace the snacks have run out. The determination and shear grim willpower we bought to replace the snacks to replace the snacks is dwindling. But so is the number of ghosts. UNTIL
Rule Violation: Black Ghosts must, if possible, be placed in front of the active player.
Mood: What? You mean you can't place them anywhere?
A game of Ghost Stories is never the same twice. Or, if played between the Girlfriend and I, a game of Ghost Stories never has the same rules twice. Yes, believe it or not, Wu Feng's ugly incarnations are nothing compared to the utter terror contained with the German/French/English rule book. Let's recap (somewhat embarrassingly) what happened when the GF and I tried to play Ghost Stories as a "brief" evening game.
9:00 pm - Play Starts.
Mood: Happy. The night is young, and the ghosts are few. Even if we did turn over the defective side of the green Taoist board.
![]() |
THIS SIDE. Wish I could re-roll this board |
9:20pm - Rule Violation: A Taoist must end their turn on the central square in order to retrieve the neutral tokens.
Mood: Self-irritation at our newbie level oversight, but pride at our honorable, chivalrous, and ok, maybe downright pedantic commitment to playing the game properly.
START GAME OVER
9:55pm - Rule Violation: When a player's board is overrun, players do not draw a new ghost. Yah...crucial point.....
Mood: Relieved at being saved from the fiery fiery pits of pseudo-Chinese hell.
START GAME OVER.
10:35pm - Two turns from kicking some serious ancient ghost arse... (metaphorically....because of course you can't actually kick ghosts.....)
Rule Violation: No reward is gained for killing ghosts in the Sorcerers' Hut.
Mood: Kind of like when you see a bear in the forest, and then you run away from the bear, into a bear cave.... Oh sacred laws of board game rule-fidelity, WHY DO YOU TAUNT US?
11:05pm - The snacks have run out. The snacks we bought to replace the snacks have run out. The determination and shear grim willpower we bought to replace the snacks to replace the snacks is dwindling. But so is the number of ghosts. UNTIL
Rule Violation: Black Ghosts must, if possible, be placed in front of the active player.
Mood: What? You mean you can't place them anywhere?
Wednesday, 19 September 2012
Hiatus End: Resuming Normal Operations!
Dearest friends,
This is the GF speaking.
You may have noticed an ominous silence in these parts as of late. Yes, we have been missing-in-action since July. But, good news, the lesbigamerz are back! And more furiously game-playing than ever before.
As a short explanation for our Ramona Flowers-esque flaky and sudden disappearance, I am happy to announce that Lesbigamer and I have moved in together ...
We are living there with another friend who went to high school with us.This is Ren.
It's a happy little terrace house (emphasis on little). But we've been so busy trying to find a place to live, getting rental applications approved and actually moving in, the last two months have flown us by without a blog post. We hope to continue our regular posting now that things have settled down somewhat.
So really, the point of this boils down to, we've missed you all sorely, we've missed board game posts and WE'LL SEE YOU BACK HERE! (Very soon, Lesbigamer is next to me writing up a session report on Ghost Stories!)
A warm thank you also to the kind people who have left us encouraging messages to continue. We really appreciate your support. ❤
Cheers,
The GF.
This is the GF speaking.
You may have noticed an ominous silence in these parts as of late. Yes, we have been missing-in-action since July. But, good news, the lesbigamerz are back! And more furiously game-playing than ever before.
As a short explanation for our Ramona Flowers-esque flaky and sudden disappearance, I am happy to announce that Lesbigamer and I have moved in together ...
We are living there with another friend who went to high school with us.This is Ren.
![]() |
She occasionally gets dragged into our game-playing, fortunately not kicking or screaming. |
So really, the point of this boils down to, we've missed you all sorely, we've missed board game posts and WE'LL SEE YOU BACK HERE! (Very soon, Lesbigamer is next to me writing up a session report on Ghost Stories!)
A warm thank you also to the kind people who have left us encouraging messages to continue. We really appreciate your support. ❤
Cheers,
The GF.
Wednesday, 4 July 2012
Lesbians On: A Few Hiccups in My Relationship with Board Games
Hey there, we’re two gay board gaming girls from the land of
Vegemite. Now I like to think that I’m a bit of a board game Casanova – wooing
the best units with my skillz and dashing good looks, playing my cards right to
charm those victory points to my side of the board. I mean, I do literally keep
all my games inside my (not usually steamy) boudoir. Sadly however, there are
times when there are little hiccups in our otherwise beautiful relationship.
Ok, it is a shameful admission, but there are a few parts of gaming I fail at
harder than a five estate hand in Dominion. Try as I might, there are some
things at which I will never improve, even with my very own training montage. Today,
I’m writing about those curs’ed things.
1. Hoarding Cards to
Make Apocalyptic Hands
There is a wise old saying, urging speedy and decisive action,
which goes like this: “Strike while the iron is hot.” Sadly, I seem to have developed
my own personal version of this phrase which goes something like “strike while
the iron is still tepid.” Draw a killer card first round? I’m not waiting for
that so called “optimal strategic moment” to play it as part of a “killer
combo.” If I’m holding TNT in my hand I want to scorch my opponent now dammit,
not wait to fuse it into an atomic bomb. Apparently, this is not what hard core
awesome gamers do. I BRING SHAME ON MY FAMILY. An example. I mentioned on our Twitter
(https://twitter.com/lesbigamerz)
that my gorgeous gorgeous girlfriend had given me the best surprise an obsessed
gamer can get, and planted a brand new copy of RFTG: The Gathering Storm in the
middle of my games collection. She also slipped in another game – a cute and
quirky card-based quick play called Gloom.
![]() |
Featuring wonderful art by Keith Baker! |
Most of the cards in Gloom are averagely useful, but now and then in a 2 player game you draw a card SO AWESOME that it’s almost embarrassing. These cards have such power that when played it feels like your opponent has picked up your entire game so far and put it through a blender. Thus, when three or four of these cards come out in a row, it’s like a blender, followed by a meat mincer, then an industrial mixer, then back through the meat mincer once again. Which is pretty much what I felt had happened to me after I lost to the GF four games in a row (out of four). The first two games my ego let me chalk it down to luck. After the second two, I could deny it no longer. The GF had a skill I didn’t. The problem was, that while I played a series of unfortunate events, she played the game like a Shakespearian tragedy – everything goes along swimmingly until suddenly everyone ends up dead. No matter how determined I was, I could not hold those great cards until the end. My apocalyptic nuke’em hand of ultimate doom and destruction is never to be…
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