Saturday, 22 September 2012

A Lesbian Session Report!: Ghost Stories - Players vs Rulebook

G'day folks, we're a couple of gay gamers from the land down under, and today we have for you a speedy session report of that game of otherworldly difficulty, Ghost Stories.

A game of Ghost Stories is never the same twice. Or, if played between the Girlfriend and I, a game of Ghost Stories never has the same rules twice. Yes, believe it or not, Wu Feng's ugly incarnations are nothing compared to the utter terror contained with the German/French/English rule book. Let's recap (somewhat embarrassingly) what happened when the GF and I tried to play Ghost Stories as a "brief" evening game.

9:00 pm - Play Starts.
Mood: Happy. The night is young, and the ghosts are few. Even if we did turn over the defective side of the green Taoist board. 

THIS SIDE. Wish I could re-roll this board

9:20pm - Rule Violation: A Taoist must end their turn on the central square in order to retrieve the neutral tokens.

Mood: Self-irritation at our newbie level oversight, but pride at our honorable, chivalrous, and ok, maybe downright pedantic commitment to playing the game properly.

9:55pm - Rule Violation: When a player's board is overrun, players do not draw a new ghost. Yah...crucial point.....
Mood: Relieved at being saved from the fiery fiery pits of pseudo-Chinese hell.

10:35pm -
Two turns from kicking some serious ancient ghost arse... (metaphorically....because of course you can't actually kick ghosts.....)  
Rule Violation: No reward is gained for killing ghosts in the Sorcerers' Hut.
Mood: Kind of like when you see a bear in the forest, and then you run away from the bear, into a bear cave.... Oh sacred laws of board game rule-fidelity, WHY DO YOU TAUNT US?

11:05pm - The snacks have run out. The snacks we bought to replace the snacks have run out.  The determination and shear grim willpower we bought to replace the snacks to replace the snacks is dwindling. But so is the number of ghosts. UNTIL
Rule Violation: Black Ghosts must, if possible, be placed in front of the active player.

Mood: What? You mean you can't place them anywhere?

In my happy dreams.... Buddhasplosion

11:40pm - All players falling asleep or otherwise distracted are forcibly awoken by me yelling "WU FENG IS COMING FOR YOUR CHILDREEEEEEEEEEN!"

12:15am - Wu Feng has finally shown his ugly mug, and all we need to do to finish find out we haven't broken any rules. Breaths are held, fingers are crossed, and various non-cannonical Gods are invoked as I slowly flip through the rule book looking for anything we have missed. What's this....? We have been playing according to the rules.... Could true ghost smashing evil crushing Taoist triumph really be ours?

OF COURSE NOT. Win? Ghost Stories? 
Rare indeed is such a thing.
Two turns, two curse die rolls....three haunted squares.
Mood: Unhappier am I than the end of Hamlet. I throw the village tiles at my GF. I feel a bit better. She does not.

All Hail Wu-Feng

At this point there is nothing for wearied pseudo-chinese mythics to do but give up, have tea and drown our angst by shooting zombies.
And so ends another great evening of gaming. Ghost Stories. I highly recommend it.


  1. So glad you're back! Excellent report.

  2. My girlfriend and I had the worst time with the rules (and that was after watching 3 video tutorials). Great review. It made us laugh out loud. :)